Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous

Nov 7, 2008

1h 40m

★ 6.3

The Army Will Never Be The Same

Overview

When fluffy, bubble gum movie star Megan Valentine suddenly finds herself broke and humiliated in the public eye, she wanders from the wreckage of a car accident and witlessly enlists in the U.S. Army hoping in vain that it will change her life.

Genres

Comedy

Production Companies

Papa Joe Films

BenderSpink

Di Novi Pictures

Family Room Entertainment

Gerber Pictures

Grand Army Entertainment

Major Productions

Millennium Media

Emmett/Furla Films

Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous Trailers

No Trailers found.

Cast

Private Megan Valentine

Jessica Simpson

Sergeant Louisa Morely

Vivica A. Fox

Sidney Green

Steve Guttenberg

Private Vicky Castillo

Aimee Garcia

Private Petrovich

Olesya Rulin

Private Hailey Hamamori

Keiko Agena

Private Connie Johnson

Jill Marie Jones

Sergeant Mills Evans

Ryan Sypek

Private Jeter

Cheri Oteri

Captain Greer

Gary Grubbs

Derek O'Grady

Bryce Johnson

Camille

Floriana Tullio

Four seasons to tell the fluctuating moods and mores of a small community that shares its daily chores and life experiences in the military base of Fort Buchanan. In this imagined (perhaps dreamed?) location, peculiar habits respond to the needs of a peculiar environment. Roger, a fragile gay man, and his female companions, trying to cope with the absence of their husbands, go through their own brand of challenges for survival, with their own form of outdoor camaraderie, thought-occupying chat and DIY activities. Roger has a tough daughter who runs him ragged, but he has buddies willing to help: Justine, Denise, Pamela and Claudia-Joy.

7.5

Seven Beauties

Dec 20, 1975

Pasqualino Frafuso, known in Naples as "Pasqualino Seven Beauties" is a petty thief who lives off of the profits of his seven sisters while claiming to protect their honor at any cost, Pasqualino is arrested for murder and later sent to fight in the army after committing sexual assault. The Germans capture him and he gets sent to a concentration camp where he plots to make his escape by seducing a German officer.

7.6

Mediterraneo

Feb 2, 1991

Greek Sea, World War II. An Italian ship leaves a handful of soldiers in a little island; their mission is to spot enemy ships and to hold the island in case of attack. The village of the island seems abandoned and there isn't a single enemy in sight, so the soldiers begin to relax a little. Things change when their ship is hit and destroyed by the enemy, and the soldiers find themselves abandoned there.

5.8

Great Guns

Oct 10, 1941

Laurel and Hardy join the army. They are hardly soldiers, but they believe their employer, (Dick Nelson) will need them now he's drafted.

0.0

Flying Luck

Dec 4, 1927

A naive young man joins the Army in order to become a pilot.

7.2

Tai-Chi Master

Nov 18, 1993

Falsely accused for cheating in a martial arts competition, two boyhood friends are banished from their Shaolin Temple and go their separate ways. As adults, they join opposing sides in a civil war. When one betrays the other, they settle their differences mano-a-mano.

6.9

Ravenous

Mar 16, 1999

Upon receiving reports of missing persons at Fort Spencer, a remote Army outpost on the Western frontier, Capt. John Boyd investigates. After arriving at his new post, Boyd and his regiment aid a wounded frontiersman who recounts a horrifying tale of a wagon train murdered by its supposed guide – a vicious U.S. Army colonel gone rogue. Fearing the worst, the regiment heads out into the wilderness to verify the gruesome claims.

4.1

Meet the Spartans

Jan 24, 2008

The heroic Leonidas, armed with nothing but leather underwear and a cape, leads a ragtag group of thirteen Spartans to defend their homeland against the invading Persians (whose ranks include Ghost Rider, Rocky Balboa, the Transformers, and a hunchbacked Paris Hilton). No one is safe when the Spartans take on the biggest icons in pop culture!

6.4

Idiocracy

Sep 1, 2006

To test its top-secret Human Hibernation Project, the Pentagon picks the most average Americans it can find - an Army private and a prostitute - and sends them to the year 2505 after a series of freak events. But when they arrive, they find a civilization so dumbed-down that they're the smartest people around.

6.0

Scary Movie 3

Oct 24, 2003

In the third installment of the Scary Movie franchise, news anchorwoman Cindy Campbell has to investigate mysterious crop circles and killing video tapes, and help the President stop an alien invasion in the process.

5.5

Scary Movie 4

Apr 12, 2006

Cindy finds out the house she lives in is haunted by a little boy and goes on a quest to find out who killed him and why. Also, Alien "Tr-iPods" are invading the world and she has to uncover the secret in order to stop them.

5.5

NVA

Sep 29, 2005

Somewhere in the GDR, in 1988: young soldier Henrik Heidler starts his service in the National People's Army, a whole new world. Together with the weighty troublemaker Krüger, Heidler and his fellow soldiers try to somehow do their time between old hands and bureaucrats. It's not always fun, because the superiors are annoying with socialist propaganda from the day before yesterday, the material and equipment is scarce and not exactly new, while morale is at rock bottom. His relationship with his girlfriend isn't holding up either. But then Heidler meets Marie, the daughter of commander Kalt of all people, and falls in love. And then, at some point, the Wall comes down and everything changes ... for everyone in the NVA!

7.3

Kelly's Heroes

Jun 22, 1970

A misfit group of World War II American soldiers goes AWOL to rob a bank behind German lines.

5.9

Sgt. Bilko

Mar 29, 1996

The US army is known for churning out lean mean fighting machines intent on protecting our great nation. Sergeant Ernie Bilko is the leader of a ragtag group of the sorriest soldiers ever to enlist in the armed forces.

6.3

Buffalo Soldiers

Oct 31, 2002

A criminal subculture operates among U.S. soldiers stationed in West Germany just before the fall of the Berlin wall.

7.3

Hair

Mar 15, 1979

Upon receiving his draft notice and leaving his family ranch in Oklahoma, Claude heads to New York and befriends a tribe of long-haired hippies on his way to boot camp.

6.6

Catch-22

Jun 24, 1970

A WWII military pilot makes a valiant effort to be certified insane in order to be excused from flying missions. But there's a catch.

6.0

Private Benjamin

Oct 6, 1980

A sheltered young high society woman joins the US Army on a whim and finds herself in a more difficult situation than she ever expected.

4.3

Best Defense

Jul 20, 1984

An engineer fails to get the bugs out of a tank before an Army officer has to use it in Kuwait.

3.8

Blonde and Blonder

Jan 18, 2008

Comic mayhem ensues when two lovely blondes, Dee and Dawn, are mistaken as international mob killers.