Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous

Nov 7, 2008

1h 40m

★ 6.3

The Army Will Never Be The Same

Overview

When fluffy, bubble gum movie star Megan Valentine suddenly finds herself broke and humiliated in the public eye, she wanders from the wreckage of a car accident and witlessly enlists in the U.S. Army hoping in vain that it will change her life.

Genres

Comedy

Production Companies

Papa Joe Films

BenderSpink

Di Novi Pictures

Family Room Entertainment

Gerber Pictures

Grand Army Entertainment

Major Productions

Millennium Media

Emmett/Furla Films

Private Valentine: Blonde & Dangerous Trailers

No Trailers found.

Cast

Private Megan Valentine

Jessica Simpson

Sergeant Louisa Morely

Vivica A. Fox

Sidney Green

Steve Guttenberg

Private Vicky Castillo

Aimee Garcia

Private Petrovich

Olesya Rulin

Private Hailey Hamamori

Keiko Agena

Private Connie Johnson

Jill Marie Jones

Sergeant Mills Evans

Ryan Sypek

Private Jeter

Cheri Oteri

Captain Greer

Gary Grubbs

Derek O'Grady

Bryce Johnson

Camille

Floriana Tullio

The third in a series of films featuring François Truffaut's alter-ego, Antoine Doinel, the story resumes with Antoine being discharged from military service. His sweetheart Christine's father lands Antoine a job as a security guard, which he promptly loses. Stumbling into a position assisting a private detective, Antoine falls for his employers' seductive wife, Fabienne, and finds that he must choose between the older woman and Christine.

6.7

Catch-22

Jun 24, 1970

A WWII military pilot makes a valiant effort to be certified insane in order to be excused from flying missions. But there's a catch.

7.3

Hair

Mar 15, 1979

Upon receiving his draft notice and leaving his family ranch in Oklahoma, Claude heads to New York and befriends a tribe of long-haired hippies on his way to boot camp.

6.8

Buck Privates

Jan 31, 1941

Petty con artists Slicker Smith and Herbie Brown mistakenly join the Army evading the cops. The cop chasing them winds up as their drill instructor. A rich young man and his former working class chauffeur are not only in the same unit, they're vying for a pretty girl who seems attracted to both.

7.3

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

Jul 15, 1953

Lorelei Lee is a beautiful showgirl engaged to be married to the wealthy Gus Esmond, much to the disapproval of Gus' rich father, Esmond Sr., who thinks that Lorelei is just after his money. When Lorelei goes on a cruise accompanied only by her best friend, Dorothy Shaw, Esmond Sr. hires Ernie Malone, a private detective, to follow her and report any questionable behavior that would disqualify her from the marriage.

3.8

Blonde and Blonder

Jan 18, 2008

Comic mayhem ensues when two lovely blondes, Dee and Dawn, are mistaken as international mob killers.

6.8

Ravenous

Mar 16, 1999

After arriving at his new, remote Army outpost, Capt. John Boyd and his regiment aid a wounded frontiersman who recounts a horrifying tale of a wagon train murdered by its supposed guide – a vicious U.S. Army colonel gone rogue. Fearing the worst, the regiment heads out into the wilderness to verify the gruesome claims.

7.9

The General

Dec 25, 1926

During America’s Civil War, Union spies steal engineer Johnny Gray's beloved locomotive, 'The General'—with Johnnie's lady love aboard an attached boxcar—and he single-handedly must do all in his power to both get The General back and to rescue Annabelle.

5.9

Sgt. Bilko

Mar 29, 1996

The US army is known for churning out lean mean fighting machines intent on protecting our great nation. Sergeant Ernie Bilko is the leader of a ragtag group of the sorriest soldiers ever to enlist in the armed forces.

6.3

Buffalo Soldiers

Oct 31, 2002

A criminal subculture operates among U.S. soldiers stationed in West Germany just before the fall of the Berlin wall.

6.1

The Truth About Cats & Dogs

Apr 26, 1996

A successful veterinarian and radio show host with low self-esteem asks her model friend to impersonate her when a handsome man wants to see her.

7.0

Somewhere in England

Aug 2, 1940

In a North of England training camp, lovestruck Corporal Kenyon (Harry Kemble) is framed and demoted in rank by a rival in love for the affections of the Adjutant's daughter. Four friends rally round to help clear the Corporal's name.

5.1

In the Army Now

Aug 12, 1994

Bones Conway and Jack Kaufman, two misguided youths, join the reserves to make some easy money for their entrepreneurial dreams. Unfortunately, no sooner than they finish basic training they find themselves at war as part of the water purification team.

6.0

Piranha

Aug 3, 1978

When flesh-eating piranhas are accidentally released into a summer resort's rivers, the guests become their next meal.

6.5

Gunga Din

Jan 26, 1939

British army sergeants Ballantine, Cutter and MacChesney serve in India during the 1880s, along with their native water-bearer, Gunga Din. While completing a dangerous telegraph-repair mission, they unearth evidence of the suppressed Thuggee cult. When Gunga Din tells the sergeants about a secret temple made of gold, the fortune-hunting Cutter is captured by the Thuggees, and it's up to his friends to rescue him.

7.5

The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp

Jul 26, 1943

General Candy, who's overseeing an English squad in 1943, is a veteran leader who doesn't have the respect of the men he's training and is considered out-of-touch with what's needed to win the war. But it wasn't always this way. Flashing back to his early career in the Boer War and World War I, we see a dashing young officer whose life has been shaped by three different women, and by a lasting friendship with a German soldier.

4.4

Redneck Zombies

Sep 18, 1987

A barrel of radioactive waste is lost out in the woods. Some demented rednecks find it and use it as part of their still. Everybody who drinks from the liquor they produced turns into a zombie.

4.4

Dinosaur Island

Mar 23, 1994

Welcome to lush Dinosaur Island, where a tribe of gorgeous cavedwelling warrior women satisfy the exotic fantasies of five downed military airmen. Fearsome battles with the island's ferocious maneating dinosaurs are the only disruption of their seductive pleasures on this island paradise. Narrowly surviving with their lives, the rugged men fall under the seductive spell of their lovely captors and soon find their every dream fulfilled.

6.5

You'll Never Get Rich

Sep 25, 1941

A Broadway choreographer gets drafted and coincidentally ends up in the same army base as the boyfriend of his object of affection.