Two aging Russian spies want to pull off one last big coup before retiring.
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Josef Popov
Iwan Federenko
Emily Hopkins
Colonel Rudschenko
Miss Ly
Ludmilla
Sir Shots
Mister Gate
Homeless Man
Three elderly ladies, Carla, Lilli and Meta, who, after their hard earned holiday money is stolen by bank robbers, decide to steal from their local bank. Along the way their are romances, arguments and a few other unexpected surprises.
Tough Brooklyn street cop Sam Makin is unwillingly recruited as an assassin for a secret United States organization known as CURE, who fake his death and give him a new identity: Remo Williams. With his appearance surgically altered, Williams is trained to be a human killing machine by his aged, derisive and impassive Korean martial arts master Chiun.
John Cooper is in a retirement home. There are strict rules for the residents, but he refuses to fall into passivity. He flirts constantly with Nurse Wilson and spends time with his best buddy Michael Aylott, who's slowly drifting into senility.
Escaping from China with a microfilm of the formula for the mysterious "Lotus X", Lord Southmere, a Queen's Messenger, is chased by a group of Chinese spies.
When $300,000,000 in diamonds are stolen from a fiery plane wreck the British Government become concerned that it might be part of a plot to undermine the value of sterling. They hire professional photographer, amateur lady-killer, and undercover agent Steve Norton to investigate.
The star of a team of teenage crime fighters falls for the alluring villainess she must bring to justice.
Television made him famous, but his biggest hits happened off screen. Television producer by day, CIA assassin by night, Chuck Barris was recruited by the CIA at the height of his TV career and trained to become a covert operative. Or so Barris said.
A streetwise Paris policeman who takes kickbacks from the minor criminals on his beat to allow them to continue is assigned an idealistic new partner fresh from police academy. He sets out to corrupt him...
Odd Horton is dependable and contained: he's a train driver retiring after 40 years of service, living a simple life. His idea of adventure is to fly from one city in Norway to another. Starting on the night of his retirement dinner, Odd has a series of dislocating experiences: a boy insists that Odd sit by his bedside while he falls asleep; misadventure causes Odd to miss his last run; he witnesses an arrest; he assists an old man and makes a friend; he takes a trip with a blindfolded driver; he adopts a dog; he takes stock late one night at the roundhouse; he revisits his mother's disappointment in him. How should he live the rest of his life?
When he is told that he is to spend three more years as a tailgunner, goofball GI Herbert Pumice thinks that a promotion--which he has little to no chance of getting--will get him out of the job he hates. He asks his girlfriend Sally, who owns the base café, for help. She goes to the base commander, Col. Baker--who she knows has a crush on her--to help out Herbert. Col. Baker schedules a promotion hearing for Herbert that Friday. He naturally fails it miserably, and then learns that Col. Baker is going out on a date with Sally. Meanwhile, the base military intelligence officer discovers that Herbert is a dead-ringer for the head of a spy ring intending to sabotage a new automated plane, and gets Herbert assigned to infiltrate the gang. Complications ensue.
Some criminal EU ministers plan to turn Denmark into a gigantic fair ground and holiday paradise. Egon gets his hand at some important documents which could both make him rich and take care of Denmark's future.
As a result of a misdiagnosis, Detective Burt Simpson is told he has just weeks to live. He gains a new respect for his life and loved ones but learns that in order for his wife, Carolyn, and son, Dougie, to collect any insurance money, he must be killed in the line of duty. He then becomes the most reckless man on the police force, volunteering for dangerous assignments over the objections of his by-the-book partner.
A corrupt cop steals evidence of a Mafia drug ring with plans to sell it to their rivals, but is hunted by the mafia and government agents.
Female American tourists are being kidnapped by a crime ring headed by a beautiful Asian woman. They're drugged and then sent to an island where they are kept as sex slaves to be used by wealthy tourists. Two agents are dispatched to rescue the women and put an end to this operation.
An undertaker gets married to an old executioner's daughter and, although he doesn't like it, must continue the profession of his father-in-law after his retirement.
Tough contract killers and secret organizations operating worldwide in a murderous battle for a relic that hides much more than just a simple instrument. The merciless hunt for the guitar of the "King of Rock'n Roll" leaves a trail of violence and death in its wake.
Erroll Babbage has spent his career tracking sex offenders and his unorthodox methods are nearly as brutal as the criminals he monitors. When he links one of his deranged parolees to the disappearance of a local girl, he and his new partner must scour the S&M underground to find her before it's too late.
The wife of a jet-set millionaire takes a holiday in Berlin and poses for racy photographs. These are stolen, a man is killed, and she decamps to the French Riviera with a different photographer, who may also now be in danger.
A scientist discovers a way to turn cow manure into energy. Two secret agents are dispatched to find out the formula but they devote more time to having sex with each other than they do going after the scientist. Pretty soon everyone in the area is after the scientist but they also wind up spending more time having sex with each other.
An aging gambler on a losing streak attempts to rob a casino in Monte Carlo. But someone's already tipped off the cops before he even makes a move.
