Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

Jun 10, 2001

1h 25m

★ 4.9

The Power of Jesus Impales You!

Overview

The second coming is upon us, and Jesus has returned to earth. But before he can get down to the serious business of judging the living and the dead, he has to contend with an army of vampires that can walk in the daylight.

Genres

Action

Comedy

Horror

Production Companies

Odessa Filmworks Inc.

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter Trailers

Cast

Jesus Christ

Phil Caracas

Maxine Schreck

Murielle Varhelyi

Mary Magnum

Maria Moulton

Father Eustace

Tim Devries

Johnny Golgatha

Ian Driscoll

Dr. Praetorious

Josh Grace

Gloria Oddbottom

Tracy Lance

Father Alban

Glen Jones

Danny Sabbath

Mike Funk

Blind Jimmy Leper

Lucky Ron

Santos

Jeff Moffet

Narrator

Ivan Freud

Julian Marsh is an out of work ladies' man who lands a job directing a bizarre adaptation of Hamlet. After casting his best friend and his ex-girlfriend in the show, Julian finds himself in the middle of a two thousand year old conspiracy that explains the connection between Shakespeare, the Holy Grail and some seriously sexy vampires. It turns out that the play was actually written by a master vampire name Theo Horace and it's up to Julian to recover the Grail in order to reverse the vampire's curse...If only being undead wasn't so much God-damned fun!

6.5

You and Me

Jun 1, 1938

Mr. Morris, the owner of a large metropolitan department store, gives jobs to paroled ex-convicts in an effort to help them reform and go straight. Among his 'employed-prison-graduates' are Helen Roberts and Joe Dennis, working as sales clerks. Joe is in love with Helen and asks her to marry him, but she is forbidden to marry as she is still on parole, but she says yes and they are married. In spite of their poverty-level life, their marriage is a happy one until Joe discovers she has lied about her past, in order to marry him. Disillusioned, he leaves, goes back to his old gang and plans to rob the department store.

0.0

Words and Music

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Phil and Pete compete for Mary's love and also in a contest for best song written by a college student.

3.0

Little Iodine

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Little Iodine does her best to break up the marriage of her parents, ruin a romance and cost her father his job.

5.4

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Five vastly different high school girls are assigned to lead an anti-bullying assembly, and in doing so, accidentally form a girl group that they call Drama Drama. The assembly is a hit, and a classmate convinces them to form a real band. As they write songs together, play at the homecoming dance, and prepare for a concert outside school, the band must navigate their own teenage drama: boys they like, jealous 'frenemies', the stress of passing their final year, and deciding their futures.

6.8

Rio

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Captured by smugglers when he was just a hatchling, a macaw named Blu never learned to fly and lives a happily domesticated life in Minnesota with his human friend, Linda. Blu is thought to be the last of his kind, but when word comes that Jewel, a lone female, lives in Rio de Janeiro, Blu and Linda go to meet her. Animal smugglers kidnap Blu and Jewel, but the pair soon escape and begin a perilous adventure back to freedom -- and Linda.

4.3

Dead Cert

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A gang of tough London gangsters get more than they bargained for when a group of businessmen make an offer to buy their club, the Inferno. They turn out to be nothing less than Vampires wanting their land back and turn viciously on the gangsters when their demands are not met.

4.8

Pale Blood

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3 dead women, blood drained through small bites and placed around L.A. The murders catch international attention of a lonely man looking to teach a suspected vampire some morals.

0.0

Bad Vibes

Invalid Date

No overview available.

0.0

Slide

Nov 5, 2025

The tale of a mythical cowboy who appears in a corrupt logging town (circa 1940s) and with the aid of his slide guitar and a giant Hellbug, he's able to battle the evil Mayor and his equally selfish twin brother to clean up the logging town of Sourdough Creek.

5.7

Joy of Living

May 6, 1938

Falling in love with the voice of Broadway chanteuse Margaret Garret, cocksure young tycoon Daniel Brewster decides to rescue the star from her hectic lifestyle of frenzied fans and mooching relatives. When Margaret has her ardent suitor arrested, the judge appoints her as Daniel's probation officer, forcing the duo to spend time together. As Daniel teaches Margaret to let her hair down and enjoy life, she begins to fall for her fun-loving admirer.

7.0

Long Live Ghosts!

Nov 11, 1977

A trespassing gang of boys encounter a ghost in the ruins of a castle. When they rescue the ghost who is caught in a trapset, they become allies in a fight to prevent ruins from being turned into mushroom farm by the city authorities.

0.0

Raw and Red

Apr 27, 2024

A lonely photographer's obsession with an enigmatic, beautiful classmate takes a dark turn.

7.5

Help Me Dream

Mar 26, 1981

In 1943, during the war, Francesca, widowed, moves with her three daughters to her country house, to get away from the bombing of Bologna. In the villa she finds her childhood friends and her old love Guido, who has not forgotten her. Francesca has a passion for everything that comes from America, like music and cinema. She even tells her daughters that her husband who died in the war would actually leave for the USA, where he would live.

6.6

Topsy-Turvy

Dec 15, 1999

For nearly a decade, Gilbert and Sullivan’s collaborations have delighted the English people. But in 1884, as a London heat wave cuts into the theater trade, their latest work, "Princess Ida", receives lukewarm press. In an effort to reconcile their creative differences and drawing inspiration from Japanese culture, they went on to create the hit opera "The Mikado", one of the duo's greatest successes.

5.9

881

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Two Singaporean girls join together to form the Papaya Sisters, a getai group that sings at performances during the seventh lunar month. Big Papaya is estranged from her mother, who disapproves of her performances, whilst Little Papaya is an orphan who suffers from terminal cancer. The two are assisted by Auntie Ling and her son, Guan Yin. The two soon rise to the top of the Singaporean getai scene singing traditional Hokkien songs, but their fame brings along with it the enmity of the Durian Sisters, a rival group of techno-singing Eurasian girls.

6.3

Jerry Springer: The Opera

Jan 8, 2005

"Jerry Springer: The Opera" tells the story of a day in the job of world famous talk-show host, Jerry Springer. Jerry has to sort out a number of guests problems; including a man who wants to dress up as a baby, a man with 3 lovers (one of them a transexual) and a fat woman who wants to be a pole dancer. However, on this particular day, something out of the ordinary will happen...

8.5

Harker

Nov 4, 2005

Evil rules the night. It spreads its black hand across the land. No one is safe from its wrath and sooner or later it will devour everyone. One man has made it his purpose to journey into the heart of hell and face the devil himself to take back what is rightfully his. This is the story of Jonathan Harker. This Orlando based team have challenged themselves to create a silent film in HARKER, a puppet short. They have gone to great lengths to re-create the true feeling of a silent movie. Puppets are created with an exceptional visual style, much like the German Expressionists films The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari and Nosferatu.

6.5

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Story about a newspaper reporter who stumbles upon a nest of vampires living in contemporary hong kong.